gistofthegrist

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Gold Rush instant mash

High winds and rain. One of those days where you are glad to be all tucked up at home in the warmth. As long as you have some supplies!

Personally I’d have eaten the fat guy before my boots … Luckily I always keep an emergency Pot Noodle at the back of the cupboard in case of an unscheduled zombie apocalypse.

Kryten: I beg you to reconsider, Sir. Human history is resplendent with examples of such sacrifice. Remember Captain Oates: “I’m going out for a walk. I may be some time.”

Rimmer: Yes, but the thing is, about Captain Oates; the thing you have to remember about Captain Oates; Captain Oates… Captain Oates was a prat. If that’d been me, I’d’ve stayed in the tent, whacked Scott over the head with a frozen husky, and then eaten him.

Lister: You would too, wouldn’t you?

Rimmer: History, Lister, is written by the winners. How do we know that Oates went out for this legendary walk? From the only surviving document: Scott’s diary. And he’s hardly likely to have written down, “February the First, bludgeoned Oates to death while he slept, then scoffed him along with the last packet of instant mash.” How’s that going to look when he gets rescued, eh? No, much better to say, “Oates made the supreme sacrifice,” while you’re dabbing up his gravy with the last piece of crusty bread.

Red Dwarf : White Hole (1991)

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